Available now, throught the sector, the latest advance in Bio-Engineered pets, it’s the PERMA-KITTEN! Genetically engineered to stop growing at some point between one month and eight months of age, depending on the model, these eternally young kittens are available in most major breeds, with more being developed daily. And, like all our BioEngPets, they’re guaranteed hypo-allergenic as well. Get yours at your local (company name) liscensed distributor today! And, coming soon, the Perma-Puppy, with release breeds including Black, Chocolate, and Yellow Lab; Border Collie; and German Shepherd.

Rumors abound about the Perma-Kitten. It is commonly believed that (company name), a subsidiary of Bio-Engineering giant (parent name), is simply an outlet for the results of their animal testing that the executives believe marketable. Because of this, many wonder what (parent name) was working on that resulted in ageless cats.

Some conspiracy theorists believe that the Perma-Kitten is a cleverly disguised robot that beecomes a berserk killing machine when exposed to the correct stimulus, mewing cutely as it mauls the nearest human’s face off. Others state that the only robot Perma-Kittens are gifted to people that the shadowy conspiracy controlling (parent name) and every other mega-corp in the sector want removed.

The third most common theory is about the ageless quality of the Perma-Kitten. The theory states that the kittens produce a natural form of anagathics. This single theory has led many to rob the pet stores carrying the Perma-Kitten, as well as snatching cats off of the streets, hoping that each feline is a theoretically life extending Perma-Kitten. How the adherants of this theory extract the anagathics is best not described.

The devastating effects of the Perma-Kitten as documented by leading research scientists:


A Ship of Fools cheshiresgrin